Posts From Freeservers

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Dari Freeservers

20.09.2001 - 0443gmt
I am still awake in this early morning looking up my website I've been building for the past few months. I am suppose to go to work later in the morning but I am thinking of not going. Why?

Well I just want to be alone for a while. Watching myself being played like a ball makes me wonder what the heck I am doing there? I am like this one piece sticker with glue they used to patch up some hole that otherwise would make their work of art, dull...

But I am not giving up my work yet. I realise that it is not the only way to achieve my goal. I realise they're not the only one who decide my life. I can go where I want to go. I am going straight to the ministry. No doubt about that. I am not going to let my project fall into these sharks and lion that would maul you, tear you apart for the 'great' cause. Are you going to be on my side?

20.09.2001 - 1500gmt
I am listening to Mr. Big - To Be With You. This is the second day I did not go for work. I am preparing my project paper which I think is far more important than going to the office without doing anything. By the way, I am not actually work there. I just doing some training which I felt should be over long time ago.

Since they're not eager to help me to set up a company and was like turning me into a ball which they can kick in any way they want, I don't think relying on them is the best option now.

The project paper is almost done. This website still dragging. Sigh..

Am I gambling something here? Am I gambling with my future? Well, for once my future look bleak enough to worth nothing. Sigh again..

21.09.2001 - 2231gmt
It is interesting when you went to Friday Pray, you listen to the Khutbah without getting sleepy. Now, it was hard to achieve that. Well, today I was listening to the Khutbah about the WTC bombing and the whole fate thing that caused the horrific event.

As the whole Khutbah get on fiery, I wonder what will be the topic of the Khutbah in each Mosque around the world? Will it be about the bombing? Will it say the same thing about fate? How you justify humanity with something like that?

I went back home feeling that I should not listen to anymore of this whole bombing episode. I bought the Malay Mail and read it. Suprise, suprise! There's whole pages of bombing and the story about the so called culprit behind the bombing, the war that going to happen... bla..bla..bla.. Hey, am I living in the right world? Or things just get synchronize around here?

22.09.2001 - 0432gmt
This past few week has been very tiresome for me. I keep staying up late at night doing useless things. I chat online, I do my website, I draw, etc. and it really come to the point where I should stop. This is not the life I suppose to be.

But when you do something that keeps you waking up whole night you must be wondering that the thing you're doing is interesting, you like to do it on your free will and you really get soak into it. So tell me again, am I suppose to do things I love most or I should do things I loathe most like going to work in the morning only to get insult everyday by the boss?

I like the job though. I like what I do. But I cannot that people who do not appreciate the things you do for them. But at least for tonight, I have friends like DED1 and Munie to share a little bit of laughter. Thank you friends..

22.09.2001 - 1045gmt
I am suppose to meet some of my internet friends at noon today. What make thing interesting is that my parent is coming to KL and my Dad is going to buy a laser printer. Wow, now am I suppose to help my Dad here or I just go and to have fun with friends?

Sure, it is not a fair option in either way. Well I think I can go and meet friends for a couple of hours than I'll go directly to Imbi Plaza and help out my Dad there.

Either way, I just can't ignore any of them. I've made promise with my friends days ago and to my suprise my parent just called me early this morning to tell me that they're coming to KL. Sigh. I wish I can clone one more of myself and it'll sure make the whole thing a lot easier to handle. Heh!

But, now that outside is still raining, I'll just wait and decide.

22.09.2001 - 1628gmt
Well, I met my friends just now. I openly admit that it is awkward to meet Rina nowadays. Maybe because of the emails. Maybe because there's nothing to talk about. But with Zack, it seem that he was the only one I spoke with. Me and Rina would just like gaze at each other from time to time without nothing interesting to talk about. Hmm..

Okay, this friendship things sometime can be so weird. With me and Rina, we sent emails to each other almost every single day. We write about anything. It is more fun 'cause I can utter some fancy words and write poems in the email. Imagine doing that in front of her!

Maybe, just maybe we're not mean to see each other much. It is much better for us just by using emails. So much for my fancy poem, sweet talk and all praise to her. So much for nothing..